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<h2>Numbing Routine</h2>At 23, something clicked for me—not as a sudden idea, but as a deep understanding. I became more aware of the world as it truly is. Nothing prepares you for the journey ahead or the outcome that awaits.Cliche to say but every day felt like a repeat of the last. I’d stay up until 11 PM playing Fortnite with the boys, then watch YouTube until my eyes gave out. Suddenly—BEEP BEEP BEEP—my alarm blared like an emergency alert at 6:30 AM. My eyes, glued shut from the night’s built-up crust, peeled open reluctantly. A yawn, a stretch, and then the routine continued.The shower became my one place of peace, a moment of stillness before the day’s chaos. The warm water felt like a cleanse, a reset. My mind wandered: What am I even doing with my life? What’s my end goal? But before I could dwell, 10 minutes had passed—I had to get out. Work awaited.By the time I got there, my boss was already barking about a client complaint. I sighed, knowing I’d do what needed to be done because, at the end of the day, I liked making money. Hours later, I clocked out, drove home with Arctic Monkeys playing in the background, staring at the endless yellow lines on the road. A small part of me felt accomplished—I had been productive. But a much louder part of me felt… unfulfilled.And tomorrow? I’d do it all over again.<figure id="figure-vnac0iklh9m7x0cwpa"><img id="vnac0iklh9m7x0cwpa" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/184971575/photo/glum-depressed-businesswoman-biting-her-nails-eyes-workload-nervously.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=3rNqSP3fnufKhj1cs1O3bFjqK7LEnPSLjQC7MfTu8DI=" alt="Glum depressed businesswoman biting her nails eyes workload nervously" title="Glum depressed businesswoman biting her nails eyes workload nervously" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/184971575/photo/glum-depressed-businesswoman-biting-her-nails-eyes-workload-nervously.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=3rNqSP3fnufKhj1cs1O3bFjqK7LEnPSLjQC7MfTu8DI=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>The Trap of Routine &amp; The Advice That Changed My Perspective</h3>If you've worked a 9-to-5, you probably know this feeling all too well. I started working right after high school, intending to take a gap year because of COVID. At first, I actually enjoyed it. There was comfort in the structure, a predictable rhythm to life. My coworkers were great—most were older and had wisdom to share.One coworker, let’s call him Paul, left a lasting impact on me. One day, he looked at me with a knowing smile and said, “Kid, I don’t think this job is meant for you in the future. Don’t be afraid to take risks while you’re young—you can afford it.” He patted me on the back and walked away.That should have been my moment—the push I needed to start something new, to chase a bigger vision. But instead, I convinced myself that I could make it work. I wanted to stay with the company because they had given me so much. I wanted the best of both worlds: a steady paycheck and the ability to build something for myself.But I got stuck. The routine drained my energy, my creativity, my purpose. Paul had seen something in me before I even realized it myself. He had listened, observed, and understood me in a way I hadn’t yet understood myself. Looking back, I’m grateful. The world has a way of aligning when you truly listen—not just to advice, but to those who genuinely want you to be happy, not just successful. <figure id="figure-rx1sobu7tem7x0dzv1"><img id="rx1sobu7tem7x0dzv1" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1039087980/photo/light-bulb-in-hand.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=HTHVdYjO5Pa1MD_n8tO_L7yVUDXcapX4xIeIKCqgjug=" alt="Light Bulb in Hand" title="Light Bulb in Hand" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 20% 50%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="20%" data-positiony="50%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1039087980/photo/light-bulb-in-hand.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=HTHVdYjO5Pa1MD_n8tO_L7yVUDXcapX4xIeIKCqgjug=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: 20% 50%;"></figure><h2>The Locus of Control</h2>Check out this <a data-mce-href="https://youtu.be/8ZhoeSaPF-k?si=Ts71qsOx-HcHyPMw" href="https://youtu.be/8ZhoeSaPF-k?si=Ts71qsOx-HcHyPMw" title="The Art of Accountability " target="_blank" rel="noopener">video</a> before reading. You will not regret it.&nbsp;Okay if you don’t want to watch the video. Basically, people with an internal locus of control believe that their actions, choices, and effort determine their outcomes. If they fail, they see it as a learning experience and make adjustments to improve. This mindset fuels motivation because they believe they have the power to shape their future. On the other hand, those with an external locus of control feel that outside forces—luck, fate, or other people—dictate their success. This can lead to a lack of motivation, as they may feel powerless to change their circumstances. While external factors do play a role in life, true growth comes from recognizing what we can control and taking responsibility for our actions. The key to lasting motivation? Shifting your mindset toward empowerment, embracing challenges, and believing in your ability to create change.This is not just words of encouragement to expand your mind, there have been many experiments of locus of control. For example, Martin Seligman, who studied at Princeton, a renowned psychologist, mainly in positive thinking.Seligman and his team conducted an experiment using dogs to study how perception of control affects behavior. They placed dogs in a cage with a floor that could deliver a mild electric shock. The dogs were divided into three groups:Group 1: Dogs that could press a lever to stop the shock. Group 2: Dogs that received the same shocks but had no control over stopping them. Group 3: Dogs that received no shocks (control group). Later, the researchers put all the dogs in a new cage where they could easily escape the shocks by jumping over a small barrier. The dogs from Group 1 quickly figured out how to escape, but the dogs from Group 2—who had previously learned they had no control—did not even try. Even when they had the ability to change their situation, they remained passive, showing signs of helplessness.Young me had an external locus of control. I believed that I was the best at everything and anything. The confidence was there but it was the ego that often took over fate. Now, I believe accountability is better than blaming outside factors, even if it was the case- you can’t change the outcome but accept the consequences to better your understanding of ways to deal with hardships.&nbsp;<h2>My Hero</h2><figure id="figure-aqlp10rjhfm7wzxmqa"><img id="aqlp10rjhfm7wzxmqa" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/1eBNXO7PVOE05pBfrpx3cK0FtbIaBtp8gs1lEgJ9JslON9axec8o4Fcvds0gmdAK.jpg" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 65% 20%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionx="65%" data-positiony="20%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/1eBNXO7PVOE05pBfrpx3cK0FtbIaBtp8gs1lEgJ9JslON9axec8o4Fcvds0gmdAK.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 65% 20%;"></figure>Lamar Jackson: The Ultimate Underdog StoryLamar Jackson—aka "Action Jackson," "Elite 8," and "New Era"—isn’t just the face of the Baltimore Ravens; he’s the embodiment of resilience. I’ve followed him since high school when his <a data-mce-href="https://youtu.be/PC-bMQWpM7I?si=q19vcsZb6e5TG1Ho" href="https://youtu.be/PC-bMQWpM7I?si=q19vcsZb6e5TG1Ho" target="_blank" rel="noopener">highlight reel</a> looked like something out of a video game. His journey wasn’t easy. Lamar grew up in Lantana, Florida, later moving to Boynton Beach—an area known for its hardships. At just eight years old, he suffered an unimaginable loss: both his father and grandmother passed away on the same day. Left in the care of his single mother alongside three siblings, football became his outlet, his escape, and ultimately, his future.Despite his raw talent, many doubted him. The University of Louisville saw what others missed, giving him the chance to showcase his dual-threat abilities. He didn’t just rise to the occasion—he dominated, winning the Heisman Trophy, the highest honor in college football. Naturally, I expected him to be a top-five pick in the NFL Draft. But the so-called "experts" had other ideas.Leading up to the draft, analysts like Bill Polian, Mel Kiper, Colin Cowherd, and even Stephen A. Smith <a data-mce-href="https://youtu.be/jkZNsgbBgEk?si=SWnqmqIU9M5ogMii" href="https://youtu.be/jkZNsgbBgEk?si=SWnqmqIU9M5ogMii" target="_blank" rel="noopener">questioned</a> whether Lamar could succeed as an NFL quarterback. They labeled him a better fit at wide receiver or running back, dismissing his ability to lead a team at the highest level. What they failed to recognize was Lamar had this thing called "DAWG"&nbsp; in him that can never be taught. He refused to switch positions, believing in himself when few did.Fast forward to today—Lamar Jackson, a two-time unanimous MVP, an electrifying leader, and a record-breaker. <a data-mce-href="https://youtube.com/shorts/IX1psejqkL0?si=F7GBWf3_13UuOOLC" href="https://youtube.com/shorts/IX1psejqkL0?si=F7GBWf3_13UuOOLC" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Watch</a> this post-game interview, especially after a loss, and you'll see his accountability. He never points fingers—he owns his mistakes, learns from them, and moves forward. That’s what separates him.Lamar Jackson isn’t just a player. He’s proof that hard work beats doubt, belief outweighs criticism, and humility fuels greatness. His story isn’t just about football—it’s about having a vision, blocking out the noise, and letting your actions do the talking. <h2>Connection to Locus of Control and Motivation</h2>This experiment demonstrated the power of perceived control in shaping behavior. The dogs that learned they had no control stopped trying, similar to people with an external locus of control who believe their actions don’t matter. Meanwhile, the dogs that had experienced some control remained motivated to act. This supports the idea that fostering an internal locus of control—believing that you have power over your life—can significantly boost motivation and resilience.For people, this means shifting your mindset to recognize that while some things are out of your control, your reactions, efforts, and mindset can change your outcomes. By taking responsibility for your life, you build the motivation needed to overcome challenges. <h2>The Power of Excitement, Energy &amp; Self-Empowerment</h2> Love, excitement, and energy are the lifeblood of self-empowerment. The key isn’t to find motivation—it’s to find something that naturally excites you. When you do, motivation takes care of itself. Start by focusing on the things you can change, taking small steps toward your goals, and viewing obstacles as opportunities to grow. The more you take ownership of your actions, the more empowered and motivated you’ll feel. Your future isn’t just about luck or circumstance—it’s about the choices you make every day. If you take anything from this, let it be this: your job can provide stability, but your passion is what will give you life. Don’t let routine numb your purpose. Seek excitement, embrace curiosity, and chase whatever sets your soul on fire.Do not chase growth to silence doubt, nor rise just to be seen. Improve not to prove, but to bloom. That every step forward is a gift to yourself and not just a response to the world. True fulfillment comes not from proving others wrong but becoming someone you are proud to be.&nbsp; IMPROVE NOT PROVE!

Imrpove not prove

<h3>Introduction </h3> When I was a freshman in high school, I often wished I had an invisible friend—someone who had gone through the same hardships and could guide me toward the right decisions. First love can be overwhelming, confusing, and exhilarating all at once. Many of you may not even realize you’re in love until you lose that person.I remember my first relationship like it was yesterday. That memory of your first love never really leaves you. It shapes you, teaches you, and sometimes haunts you. <h3>The Beginning – Falling Fast and Hard</h3>The first time you meet someone special, you may not recognize the feeling immediately. But over time, you begin to notice the way they talk, their tone when speaking to you, and how they treat you compared to everyone else. Some people fall in love at first sight, drawn in by looks. That’s how it happened for me—I was completely captivated by her beauty.There are two types of people when it comes to pursuing someone they like:1. The ones who boldly introduce themselves.2. The ones who shy away and wait for the other person to make a move.I had always been outgoing, confident when it came to talking to women. But with her, I was different. Anytime she was nearby, I found myself turning away, too nervous to even make eye contact.One day, I finally gathered the courage to text her on Snapchat. To my surprise, my nervousness disappeared the moment we started talking. From that day forward, our conversations never stopped. <h3>The Perfect Relationship—Or So I Thought</h3>At the time, I truly believed we were perfect for each other. We shared the same music taste, loved the same fashion styles, and, most importantly, had an incredible sense of humor together. We had everything:<ul><li>Supportive of personal goals and aspirations</li><li>Facetiming after school until we fell asleep&nbsp; </li><li>Sunset dates that felt like they were out of the movies</li><li>Handwritten cards and gifts&nbsp;</li><li>Listening without judgement&nbsp;</li><li>Standing up for eachother&nbsp;</li><li>creating dumb nicknames or even dumber inside jokes</li><li>even posting appreciation messages or social media&nbsp;</li></ul>It was beautiful—until I ruined it. <blockquote><h3> Love, Anxiety, and Insecurity</h3></blockquote> I ruined it by being “too in love.” At least, that’s how I saw it back then. What I didn’t understand was how anxiety could destroy a relationship.In my mind, I thought, If this doesn’t work out, it will hurt—a lot. So, I did everything I could to prevent that pain before it even happened. I became overprotective, controlling, and jealous. If she so much as gave attention to another guy, I would get angry. But in my head, I justified it by telling myself, I’m doing this because I love her.The truth? I wasn’t doing it out of love—I was acting out of fear.I was terrified of the future, of the possibility of heartbreak. I lacked the confidence to believe I could survive losing her. It got so bad that I started tracking her location, needing to know where she was at all times. That wasn’t love. That was insecurity disguised as affection. <h3> The Aftermath – Learning From Regret</h3>For years after our breakup, I tried to convince myself that I had done the right thing, that I was only trying to protect myself. But as I matured, I finally saw the truth: I was horrible to her.<h3>That is not how you love someone.</h3>Real love is not about control or fear—it’s about trust, respect, and allowing someone to be their own person. The purest form of love comes when you don’t chase it, when you’re not actively searching for it.Advice to High Schoolers – Focus on Yourself FirstSo, to all the high schoolers reading this, please:• Do not look for love in high school. Let it come to you naturally.• Focus on what makes you happy. Find hobbies, develop your passions, and think about a career you won’t hate waking up to.• Spend time with your family. Living with them won’t last forever.• Build a small, reliable circle of friends. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you.Regret can be painful, but it can also be a powerful teacher. I am who I am today because of my mistakes. If you can learn from mine without making the same ones, then maybe my past wasn’t in vain.Love will come when the time is right. Until then, focus on becoming someone you love first.<h3>Guidance for Parents – Loving and Supporting Your Teen</h3>As much as first love is a learning experience for teenagers, it’s also an important time for parents to guide, support, and nurture their child’s emotional growth. Looking back, I realize that I lacked the emotional maturity to handle love properly. Parents play a crucial role in helping their children understand relationships, self-worth, and boundaries. Here are a few lessons I wish I had understood earlier—wisdom that parents can pass on to their kids:1. Teach them that love is not possession. True love is based on trust and freedom, not control or fear of loss. Help your child understand that insecurity does not equal love.2. Encourage self-confidence and independence. Many young relationships fail because one or both partners rely too much on the other for validation. Teach your child to love themselves first before seeking it from someone else.3. Have open conversations about emotions. Many teens don’t fully understand their feelings, leading to possessiveness, jealousy, or fear of heartbreak. Be someone they can turn to without fear of judgment.4. Lead by example. Children observe their parents’ relationships and often model their future relationships after them. Show them what healthy love looks like—love that is patient, trusting, and respectful.5. Remind them that their first love is not their only love. Heartbreak feels like the end of the world when you’re young, but life moves on. Encourage them to embrace the lessons from their experiences instead of dwelling on the pain. <h3> A Stronger Ending – Embracing Growth and the Future</h3>I used to believe that love was something to chase, something I had to hold onto tightly or risk losing forever. But love is not a prize to be won, nor is it something that should come with fear or control. Love, in its truest form, is something that flows naturally, that exists without force or possession.Looking back, I don’t regret loving deeply, but I do regret not knowing how to love the right way. However, regret doesn’t have to be a burden—it can be a lesson. Growth comes from acknowledging mistakes and choosing to be better because of them.If you’re young and in love, don’t let fear dictate your actions. Love should feel safe, freeing, and uplifting. If it doesn’t, then maybe it’s not love—at least, not the kind worth holding onto. "Let love find you when you are ready, not when you are searching"<figure id="figure-1uecxaas73m72rnd4j" data-full-width=""><iframe id="1uecxaas73m72rnd4j" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/1056236516" class="w-full bg-gray-100 " style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" allowfullscreen="" data-url="https://vimeo.com/1056236516?share=copy" data-corners="no-rounded" data-fullwidth="true" data-mce-src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/1056236516" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></iframe></figure> <figure id="figure-4njrq5mmkum72hjpad" class="selected"><img id="4njrq5mmkum72hjpad" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/21xg5yeJKjj4ChWEaNf43BcUQMV1on0zqmapasMAKCWyvSSRAsh7Psqs8cleIyhP.png" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/21xg5yeJKjj4ChWEaNf43BcUQMV1on0zqmapasMAKCWyvSSRAsh7Psqs8cleIyhP.png" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>

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Imrpove not prove

Lessons of First Love –A Personal Reflection